A Dark and Shiny Place: What is it?

There was a feeling of uncertainty and unease in the air. It felt like a warning that some changes were coming my way - emotional as well as physical. At another time, I would have brush edit because change is constant. But it’s hard to ignore it when the small l voice deep within is terrified of what is to come.

This was the day I saw the shadow again. But this time, it stood there stubbornly observing me.

It was a little past sunset and I was sitting in the living room working on my laptop when from the corner of my eye I saw something move at the end of the passage. Like someone had passed from the study to our bedroom. I looked up and realised the house was dark except for the light from the lamp where I was sitting. I walked to the passage and turned on the light. I then went to the study to turn on the lamp. Bella was not home. She was playing at my neighbour’s place a floor below and my husband was not home yet. I returned to my spot on the sofa in the living room and went back to the screen in front of me. Instantly I felt a shiver go up my spine. My heart was racing and I knew it was real. I could feel someone staring at me, watching me, and I knew where that observer stood. I didn’t dare to lookup from my laptop and my breathing got faster. However, I needed to muster the courage to look up. And in a flash, I looked up, expecting to see nothing but an empty house.

How I wish I was right!

As I stared into the passage, I saw the shadow of a person cast by the study lamp. I froze and couldn’t take my eyes off it. It looked like a frail, slightly bent figure. It just stood there and I wondered if it was watching me, or looking the other way, into our bedroom. Then the door bell rang and I closed my eyes.

When I opened them a moment later, the shadow was gone. I had to move a mountain to get myself to open the door to let Bella back in. My heart was racing. My breath was shallow and short. I wasn’t sure of what I needed to do, so I just sat on the sofa with my eyes closed and started to chant the Gayatri mantra.

The Gayatri mantra has been my soothing chant since I was a child. My mom used to make me recite it every day and it truly works wonders. I felt sanity return while my heart stopped pounding and my breath returned to normal again. I heard the click of the key in the main door and my husband’s loving voice calling out to me. I couldn’t stop myself from running to him and hugging him tightly. He looked puzzled but immediately held me in a warm embrace knowing that I would tell him when I was ready, but right then I just needed a hug.

All the years of living in this house while feeling the presence of an unseen entity proved to be true now. I could no longer push those instincts deep into the abyss of my mind. But why would it decide to show itself now? Was it because we were going to move out and it wasn’t willing to let us go? Or did it need something else from us? Every time I had one answer, two questions popped up. I knew I needed to get out of the house more often. But how could I leave Bella alone with that shadow? And what did it want from us? From me?

As the days passed, I began to hear hushed voices around the passage and kitchen like someone was having a very intense, pensive discussion. When I stopped to listen more intently, all I heard was a thick silence. As a result, I had music playing in the house throughout the day. I was getting more tired by the day and I told myself it was the stress of moving, having no job, and the heat.

It was another warm night. As my husband and I sat down to have dinner, he looked at me keenly. I wanted to avoid eye contact dreading the upcoming questions but I knew I couldn’t. I played around with the food on my plate with the fork as I stared at the vegetable hoping for it to come to my rescue. He reached out and lightly held my hand. I let out a sigh and looked up into his concerned eyes. ‘What’s going on, Maya? Lately you have been really distant and now your health seems to be a concern.’ I couldn’t help but retort. ‘My health? What’s wrong with my health? I am doing perfectly alright.’

I saw a hint of annoyance in his eyes. ‘You seem a lot thinner and weaker. I see you’re hardly eating and you’re talking in your sleep. There are shadows under your eyes and I can tell you’re stressed about something. What is it? Talk to me!’

(This excerpt from ‘A Dark and Shiny Place’ written by Pragati Deshmukh, has been published with permission from The Write Order, Rs 350)