The Story Behind MENtal Health

What constitutes a Man, other than his Man Parts? In biological terms the conversation would be around Testosterone - the lone ranger of hormones that holds up the flag of muscularity, facial hairs, the broad shoulders and the tantalizing husky voice that many are blessed with.

The boys are drowned with gifts that are boys - guns & cars being on the forefront. Along with this comes the need for aggression, to hit and hit back and in its new Avatar - competitiveness, being first in class or you are not good enough. By hook or by crook.

It's not all bad, they are also brought up with the God Syndrome, You, will provide for your parents, your married life, your children and therefore you can do no wrong and shall be worshipped by all feeble man and women.

Some who are not so lucky, are physically abused as children, yes, it is believed that the statistics for men are fairly outstanding. Does that make them more of a man or less, as they hide their secret?

Did any of the women think that the men had it easy? Yes, they can walk out at night without the fear of molestation and rape. The physical strength does make a part of their lives better but there is more to life than just that.

Their minds are a raging complexity as they are torn between what they have been brought to be vs what they would like to be Vs what they have to be to be successful? They are stretched between being boys, husbands, fathers, Vice Presidents or Chefs or Doctors or Lawyers and unlike women they are ill equipped for this multitude as no one bothered to teach them.

Of course, in many cases, their Mental Health is screwed. 40% of men don't talk to anyone about their mental health. Over three out of four suicides (76%) are by men and suicide is the biggest cause of death for men under 35. This is a serious cause of concern. Additionally, did you know that 73% of adults who 'go missing' are men?

Reasons that it continues to be that way are because very few men will stop to think and evaluate what they are experiencing, as suppressing is an early age habit, unfortunately one that is likely to cause health problems. Some Questions Men should ask themselves are:

What was I like as a child?

What did I enjoy? What made me laugh?

What role am I playing in my work life?

What role am I playing in my personal life?

Am I as happy as I want to be right now?

Are people around me happy and relaxed?

Am I loved or feared or both?

Have I gotten over any mental, emotional or physical abuse that I was subjected to as a child? If your mind goes instantly to an incident - then review that one first.

These questions are a good place to start with and then see where that leads you.

There are some that already have begun the journey and realize that they have some issues that they are unable to control or overcome on their own. However, they are awkward about going to a health consultant or anyone for that matter for fear of betrayed or being found out. Albeit, they continue to suffer or stay submerged with their fears, negative thoughts only to end up with B.P, Diabetes and such so called 'Lifestyle diseases' which have been simmering for years due to emotional and psychological stress.

The third block that men face is their own internal battle of being they really are, especially if leaning to a slightly feminine side. They are likely to overdo the aggression and male aspect to cover up their comfort or constantly pick topics of conversation that are deemed the male bastion such as cars, machines, politics and sports. The younger generation is not trying so hard to cover up and that's a relief in some aspect if they are independent but if they are under the roof of a warlord then that becomes an added stress point instead of relief

Every man is unique and ideally should remain so. Unfortunately, between media, mothers, fathers and relatives, many are being forced to be clubbed into a collective type cast. It has a direct impact on mental health if it goes against the grain of your being. If you have reached the point where you are comfortable and good, then be there and stay put. If it is a constant struggle or even a pendulum that keeps swinging then it is advisable to seek ways and means to address the struggles and find your sweet spot. After all Life Is for The Living. Check if you are Really Alive!

- ByLatika Narang, MD, aekum integrated healthcare