Eldest Daughter Syndrome

Nithya is the eldest daughter of Sharma. She has two younger siblings - Aditya and Isha. Nithya is a smart girl who is good at academics and good classical dancer. Her talents and work makes her to be a role model for her siblings. However, Nithya doesn’t enjoy it. She faces a lot of pressure to be a role model by caring and guiding her siblings and maintaining her performance status at school and other cultural activities.

The role of the family and society plays a key factor in mental health of the individual. Just like Nithya, there are many children who faces a lot of pressure as a eldest sibling in a family especially during their initial years of childhood. As parents expects their eldest daughter or son to be independent by being a role model for younger ones by handling them a lot of responsibilities and how to tackle difficult situations on their own.

However during the process of becoming independent, the eldest sibling face various psychological challenges which he or she doesn’t know how to deal them.

Eldest Daughter Syndrome is a common psychological issue which is overlooked by both the family and society. Here, women faces a lot of challenges and psychological pressure within the family and the society to meet the expectations. Due to this, they are prone to stress, depression, feeling lonely as they doesn’t know how to express their feelings or emotions to the dear ones.

Speaking to Hans India, Dr. Jyothirmayi, an award winning Neuro Psychiatrist in Hyderabad shares her opinions about the syndrome.

What is Eldest Daughter Syndrome?

It’s the emotional burden the eldest daughter takes on the responsibility of the family from young age. It is witnessed in majority of the families where more responsibilities are given to the eldest daughter like doing household chores, taking care of younger sibling and many more which causes the feeling of overburdened on the child as they age.

Signs of Eldest Daughter Syndrome?

The main sign or symptom of this Syndrome is girls on reaching adulthood can become dull and depressed. Other signs include trying to be/ urge to be more perfect, trying to meet parental expectations, dominance, higher self esteem or confidence, unhealthy competitive attitude, obsessive and controlling. Research states that girls between 5-14yrs age spend 40% more time in domestic work than boys.

What are the Pychological effects of being a eldest child and how it effects the personality of the child?

Birth order influence a child’s personality.

Parents expect their first child to be a role model or an ideal child for younger ones and highlights their mistakes which leads to more psychological pressure on them.

Elder ones tend to be more responsible, well behaved and have leadership qualities.

How traditions or society or family norms affect the eldest child especially in India?

In India, people take priority of the family than the individual. Usually the eldest son or child is given utmost importance and sometimes equals their role to a parent who oversees other siblings as their children.

The eldest child is expected to fulfill the role of a parent to the younger siblings in India.

This is very challenging especially in case of eldest daughter and their importance is very confined to taking care of family and engaged in household chores.

Challenges or struggles faced by the first child?

Challenges faced by the eldest child are expected to be a role model, expected to take care of younger ones and expected to oversee their siblings mistakes and adjust with them.

Why do parents ignore first child?

Parents ignore their the first child as they assume that the eldest one is mature whereas the younger one needs more care.

How to overcome or deal this syndrome?

Families should realise that it’s unfair to put more responsibilities on the elder child and distribute them among all siblings. Instead they should also help in the work rendered to the eldest child especially males.