To be blessed with Motherhood
Susmitha Sen, the former Miss Universe and Bollywood actress has been quite a role model for all the single mothers. Born in Hyderabad in a Bengali family, and having scaled the heights of popularity and success, she chose to stay single and has adopted two girls and is enjoying every minute of motherhood.
She is quite attached to children and gets emotional when it comes to issues regarding them. Sharing her experiences of being a mother and how things have changed for her in the course of time, Sen narrates her story at YFLO press conference held in Hyderabad.
What are the challenges in motherhood?
During natural birth, the connection between mother and child is the umbilical cord, but when it comes to adoption, the mother and child are connected by this` higher power – a connection which is for a lifetime that you really cannot cut off.
I am privileged to become a mother, twice, and since then I haven't missed a day of feeling the joy of motherhood. The wisest decision I have made at the age of 24 was to become a mother.
It stabilised my life, and people think it was a great act of charity; but it was self-preservation and it was me protecting myself doing something that encompasses your heart, and your calling always makes sure you stay true to your DNA. The tough part was to take care of a child, when I was 24 and at the peak of my career.
What was it that made you adopt children?
When I was in India and grew up her; even till I was 17-and-half-years-old, I knew nothing about children and adoption centers, I was only aware of where my life was going; my life was very small.
At the age of 18 when I won Miss Universe, it suddenly took me around the world and showed me the real picture of so much and while doing that I ended up going to different orphanages around the world and realized that I had very deep connect with children.
I felt that I had the quality of being a universal mother. It did not matter from where they are. Each time I left an orphanage, some child would hold my dress and say take me. I cannot explain it, but I felt like- what is the point of having all this when I cannot help these children.
So, at 19 when I gave up the crown, I spoke to my father about adoption. He had thought that I had lost my sense as I was a child. We did try to adopt a baby secretly, but it did not work as a single woman at 19 was not entertained for adoption. I started trying from when I was 19 and then became a mother at 24. At 43, I still did bear a child, but I am a mother of two.
Why have you not chosen to give birth naturally?
It is a very big blessing for a man or a woman to be blessed with a child, but it is not always the biggest blessing. Your life is the biggest blessing, because of which, you can do so much for everyone.
Now, weather I give birth or nurture a life, I am nurturing a blessing. The reason that I had not have children biologically is because I never found a man to have them with. I was not sure, and so, I did not want to jump into a biological flock.
How does it feel being with your children?
Unlike all of us, our children are growing up with wide knowledge. The internet, web, social media has made children so intelligent. Many times, I have been told by my daughter Renay,
'You don't understand'. So, I am learning and Renay wants to be an actress since she was 10 and Alisha doesn't want to be an actress; so they are very clear with what they want. I want my children to be much empowered.