Sometimes, bad memory can be hilarious!

The laws of Mendel state that acquired characteristics cannot be inherited. If that is so, I wonder how both my children also appear to have imbibed from me the habit of forgetfulness and being slightly lost in certain circumstances.

My son, Arvind, was barely two years old when he once woke up in the middle of the night and asked several questions. He first asked, "Where is my mother?" I pointed to Usha sleeping next to him. He then asked, "Where are you"? Upon being satisfied about my being there he finally asked, "Where am I"!?

On another occasion, my daughter, Aparna, when she was the same age, woke up at night from sleep and wanted, not her mother, but 'Usha Kanda!'.

Usha has got so used to my forgetfulness that, whenever she wanted to send a thing to someone staying in the place to which I was travelling, she would put it in a briefcase, lock it up, and inform the other person to make sure that it was collected from me. I was reduced to the role of being a courier!

While I can go on regaling the reader with countless number of such incidents, I regard one incident as the one represents the crowning glory of my virtue of absentmindedness. It was the year 1981. Vice President Hidayatullah, as whose Secretary I was posted at that time, was in Canada on an official visit.

On his way back to India, he was to pass through Japan, meet the Crown Prince and hand over a gift to him. It was the longest trip, which took us to England, America, Canada, Japan and back to Delhi via Singapore. There were gifts to be handed over at his place of which I was the custodian. And I managed to leave it behind at the hotel in Boston city from where we left for Tokyo via San Francisco! It was only thanks to the diligence and devotion of the hotel staff, that the gift was dispatched separately to reach Tokyo by the time we arrived there.

I have earlier made a mention, in this column, about how I transited from being an atheist to a believer, in my late teens. That took place primarily as a fallout of my failure in the practical examinations in chemistry in the B Sc Hons. course in Delhi University. After that I never looked back, as far as faith in a Supreme Being is concerned. However, after the conclusion of my tenure in NDMA, and returning to Hyderabad, I had to devise several methods to keep myself physically fit, mentally alert and emotionally stable, essentially to ward off ennui.

It was at that time, when I was feeling lost in the bewildering and enormous realm of prayer, worship and meditation, that some elderly friends offered sound advice and counselled me about the practices and methods that best suited my requirements.

In the 'activity tight compartments' I referred to earlier, physical fitness has always occupied high priority. Worn out cliché though it may seem, 'a healthy mind in a healthy body' is a saying that has always appealed to me. For over 35 years now, I have maintained a record of over 90, on a scale of 100, in respect of the number of days of a week on which I work out to my satisfaction.

Another activity that has regularly figured in my daily routine is the effort at preserving and sharpening my mental faculties. Solving puzzles, finding answers to riddles or playing indoor games such as chess, solitaire or bridge on the computer, are activities for which I make sure that slots are allotted in my daily regimen.

Looking back over the 75 years of my life, I have little regret about what I have done, or what I am doing now. Therefore, I have spent the last several years almost exclusively on activities in which I can harness for the benefit of others the wisdom and experience I have gained.

Apart from the odd act of charity or indenting upon my goodwill and influence to sort out day-today issues brought to my notice by others, I have invested a substantial amount of time in mentoring youngsters preparing for the Civil Services examinations. I can say, without any embarrassment, that I have been compensated for the time I offered, although in a modest way. That was to ensure that I remained sincere and conscientious in my commitment to the task I agreed to perform.

Much like the Boy Scout who has the 'a good deed every day' principle to guide him, I begin my day with a prayer asking that I be given the opportunity, and the power, to do some good for others during the day. Fortunately, something or other has always come up for over 15 years now. That attitude, and the opportunity endowed to me by destiny, have helped me keep my emotional equipment in good trim.

When asked, "How is life?", my father used to reply, "Better than the alternative!" Know that, of course, is a bit of an extreme illustration of the point I am trying to make. The point is that life should not merely comprise existence but be an enjoyable, productive and fulfilling experience. And that, again, is not to say that one should indulge in excesses, not only in things which are bad for one but also those which are good. Which is probably why, to quote my father again, "life depends on the liver!"

Life is an experience full of the occurrence of unexpected events. Their impact, however, can be condition given a steady and wise approach and the ability to anticipate things. Eleanor Roosevelt, while on this point, said that if life were predictable it would cease to be life. Albert Einstein also made an observation which is relevant in this context, when he said, "life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving.…".

John F Kennedy famously said that there was no such thing as a free lunch. Similarly, in life, one must invest in terms of energy and effort in order to fulfil one's objectives. I have, earlier in this column, used the following excerpt from a song composed by the Bard of the Telugu people Rajinikantha Rao: "Omkara parivritham viswam Sankalpa parimitham drisyam".

In a similar vein, Oprah Winfrey said, "You get in life what you have the courage to ask for".

To return to the theme with which this discussion began, I have always believed that it is necessary to get lost in life, whether in the physical, intellectual, emotional or philosophical sense, because it is only then that one can discover one's true bearings.

Incidentally, that is the message conveyed by the line "….Zindagi Hai, Bhul Kar Hi Raah Milti Hai", in the song 'Apni to Har Aah Ek Toofan Hai…', from the unforgettable classic movie of yore, 'Kala Bazar'.

(The writer is former Chief Secretary, Government of Andhra Pradesh)