7 Ways to Knock back at your Ex and celebrate being single on Valentine's Day
Rest assured that there are plenty of ways to engage embittered haters on Valentine's Day too. Here are five options:
For those of us who suffer from a serious case of the ex, the vacation is like an obstacle course– but these activities might alleviate the pain
Sadly, this affliction lacks over- the-counter remedies. You may find mature ways to tackle it– but who wants to do that? Why don't you follow this handy little guide, which is small enough to ensure you feel better.
This Valentine's Day Adopt-an-Animal especially for those ready to get over a relationship that has gone bad. Animal adopting centers invite spurned lovers to adopt either a Giant Hairy Scorpion or a Hissing Cockroach or a cat for donation of as little as Rs 50 and name it after one's ex. "Nothing says 'I've moved on' like adopting a giant cuddly cockroach in the name of your favorite ex," "With a little luck, this generous donation will release your bad love life karma so that you never have to encounter a cockroach again."
Sending spam mail
You remember this saying, hell doesn't have any fury like a human spammed with their mailbox? Okay, technically it's not a saying but it should be. Spam is the world's second-most annoying thing after glitter, and thankfully there are services that fill your ex inbox with spam (including one that sends cat spam) for you. They would not, of course, endorse using such systems because they are likely to be in breach of data protection legislation. But it's the thought that counts.
Put a hex on them
Sometimes it is best to consult a witch for matters of the heart. Which means Google in the modern day, where you can find someone who will blame your ex for you. All you have to do is give them a snapshot of your ex, and they're going to send back a voodoo doll portraying which ex, each with a different juju on their limbs.
Here's the hope these aren't normal, dangerous ones, but something more appealing. Like a curse that ensures your ex kisses brings a small but highly infectious virus to the next guy.
Donate Things from Your Ex to Charity
Instead of blowing memories of your old relationship to bits, you can do some good with them by taking part in Donate Your Heartbreak.. It will sell the goods online and give one of five dozen charities about 80 percent of each sale.
Jewelry is a particularly popular category for donations to "Heartbreak," and one participant explained to the media why it was so easy to hand over a watch his ex gave him. "The gift was' you always fall behind so I thought I should give you a watch,'" he said. "I think I knew most of the sugar is gone out of this relationship at that point."
Machine Gun Memories of Your Ex
The latest "Just Divorced" experience from a Sin City-area shooting range called Machine Guns Vegas allows customers to fire a variety of automatic weapons on things from their old relationship, "including (but not limited to) wedding dresses, sweatshirts and marriage certificates."The package, which is available starting February 14 for a limited time, costs $499 for up to four guests, and comes with 40 rounds of ammunition and transportation to and from the range.
The owner of Machine Guns Vegas—who, believe it or not is named Genghis Cohen "because his father admired Genghis Khan," according to the Las Vegas Review-Journal—said that while most personal articles are fair game for blowing away, there are restrictions: "They're not allowed to shoot a picture. They can do it privately, but if a nut job shoots a husband or wife in the light of day, we don't want to be involved in a lawsuit."
Sending Some Hate Mail
Valentine's Day isn't just for love proclamations. It's also a great time to unleash certain kinds of feelings— like how much you really loathe your ex or Valentine's Day. Fortunately, there are virtual and physical cards out there that allow celebrants to deliver all of those messages and more.
The Just Wink greeting card company boasts Valentine's cards with messages such as "Besties Before Testes" and "Most Guys Are A******," the latter slogan encapsulated in an oversized pink heart. Someecards, meanwhile, offers a dizzying number of funny and quirky messages to be shared in mock celebration of the holiday, including "This is the most special of the estimated one billion cards that will be sent this Valentine's Day" and one intended especially for exes: "It's not you, it's someone else better than you."
Giving them lots of glitter
Exes are much like the glitter from
Coachella that you discover eight months after the fact in your belly button: at the time it felt like a good idea, but now you're wondering how something so tiny could end up being so gross, and whether you're going to be really rid of it.
Few tells closure like believing your ex for at least as long as it takes to get rid of the stuff will not be able to stop thinking about you.
Anti-Valentine's Event party
If you hate your ex or just detest how forced and artificial Valentine's Day's Hallmark holiday can seem, you'll be accepted at the many anti-Valentine meals, happy hours, and parties taking place all over the world. Anti-Valentine's themed events have been popping up for years, particularly in cities with large populations of young people. Many anti-Valentine activities are simply only cocktail specials (with festive and fun titles like the X-Boyfriend), while others are mixers for those ready to get back into the game, and yet others are giving prizes to people willing to share their worst "dumped" experiences.