Your Sexual Consent Guide Overview: How it looks like how it sounds like

Consent issue has been pushed to the forefront of public discussion over the past year—not just in the U.S., but around the world.

Following numerous reports of high-profile sexual assault incidents and the development of the #MeToo movement, one thing has become increasingly clear: there is an urgent need for more education and consent discussion.

While celebrities like Bill Cosby, Harvey Weinstein, and Kevin Spacey may have kicked off the consent conversation, the reality is that in their lifetime, 1 in 3 women and 1 in 6 men in the U.S. experience sexual violence.

However, what this recent dialog has revealed is that there are conflicting consent understandings and what constitutes sexual assault or rape.

When it comes to consent, it is time to get everyone on the same page. Healthline has worked with NO MORE to create a consent guide to help advance the consent conversation. See what we've got to say below.

What is approval?

Consent is a voluntary, enthusiastic, and clear agreement among the participants to engage in particular sexual activity. Period. Different views on what consent is there is no room.

People with drugs or alcohol disabilities are unable to consent. If all participants do not give clear, voluntary, coherent and ongoing consent, it is sexual assault.

When it comes to consent, there is no room for ambiguity or assumptions, and there are no different rules for people who have previously hooked up. It is rape that is non-consensual sex.

Consent is clear and unambiguous consent.

Is your partner engaged in sexual activity enthusiastically?

Did they give any sexual activity verbal permission? You then have clear consent. There's no consent to silence.

Never assume that you are in agreement — by asking you should clarify. Ongoing You should have permission at each stage of a sexual encounter for every activity.

It is also important to note that consent can always be withdrawn — after all, people change their minds! Coherent Each sexual activity participant must be able to give their consent.

If someone is too intoxicated by alcohol or drugs or is not awake or fully awake, they are unable to consent. Failure to recognize that consent was too impaired for the other person is not "drunk sex." It is necessary to give voluntary consent freely and willingly. Repeatedly asking someone to commit a sexual act until they say yes is not consent, it is coercion. For everyone, consent is required, including people who are in a committed or married relationship.

No one is compelled to do anything they do not want to do, and being in a relationship does not compel a person to engage in any kind of sexual activity. It is important to understand that any kind of unconsented sexual activity, including touching, fondling, kissing, and intercourse, is a form of sexual assault and can be considered a crime.

When and how to ask for consent before engaging in sexual activity, it is essential to ask for consent. Whether it's casual or long-term, it's important to talk openly about what you both want and set boundaries in any relationship. Both parties should feel comfortable communicating their needs in a healthy sexual encounter without feeling afraid.

If you start sex, and you get angry, frustrated, or insistent when your partner declines any sexual activity, that's not all right.

Sexual or non-sexual activity that is coercion due to fear, guilt, or pressure—and it is a form of sexual assault. If you're engaged in sexual activity and the person declines to go further or appears hesitant, stop for a moment and ask if they're comfortable doing that activity or if they're going to have a break.

Let them know that you don't want to do anything with which they don't feel 100% comfortable, and there's no harm in waiting for and doing something else. The person initiating sexual activity is responsible for ensuring that the other person feels comfortable and safe in any sexual encounter.

You may be worried that asking for consent will be a total mood killer, but the alternative is unacceptable — not asking for consent and potentially sexually assaulting someone.

Consent is necessary and serious, but it does not mean sitting down or signing forms for a clinical discussion! There are ways to seek consent that is not a complete buzzkill.

Besides, if you're comfortable enough to get closer, then it's perfectly fine and sexy to talk openly about what you both want and need!

WAYS TO TALK ABOUT CONSENT: You might get to the point right and ask: Can I kiss you? Can I take off this? What's this about? You wanna have sex, or you wanna wait? Can I [complete the blank]? You can also take advantage of the opportunity to use open sex and boundaries communication as foreplay.

Here are some ideas: I think you want to do this when we [fill in the blank] are hot? It feels so good when you want to do this [fill in the blank]? Can I remove your clothes? Can I have you kissed here? If you're in the heat of the moment, you might say: are you doing this comfortably with me? You wanna stop me? How comfortable are you going this evening?

Remember that there must be ongoing consent. This means your partner needs to consent before you take things to the next level, even if you are in the throes of a heavy make-up session or foreplay. It's important to ask if they're comfortable if they want it, and if they want to keep going, so keep communicating and not just making assumptions. Under the influence Consent is a tricky subject under the influence. If the parties have been drinking, it is unrealistic (and not legally accurate) to say consent is not possible.

Many people drink and remain sufficiently consistent with consent. Studies, however, show Trusted Source a direct relationship between excessive consumption of alcohol and the risk of sexual assault. Approximately half of the sexual assaults involve the perpetrator, the person being assaulted, or both, consuming alcohol. Sexual assault is never the fault of the victim, even if it involves alcohol consumption.

If you and others are under the influence, when assessing whether you consent to engage in sexual activity, you should understand the risks. If any party is under the influence of drugs or alcohol, communicating your own boundaries and being extra sensitive to the boundaries of your partner is even more important. Here are some good guidelines to follow: You are responsible for obtaining consent if you initiate sexual activity. In the event that either person is under the influence, it is just as important as ever to define consent — clear, ongoing, coherent, and voluntary. If someone stumbles or is unable to stand without leaning on something, slurring their words, falling asleep, or vomiting, they are disabled and unable to consent.

If someone doesn't show any of the above signs, but you know they've been drinking or drug-taking, The Good Men Project recommends asking something like, "Do you feel clear enough to make sex decisions? "And whatever your partner says, if you feel they're not clear enough, then just stop.

What consent sounds like: you know you have consented when the other person clearly said yes — without being pressured — and gave you permission to do something.

Here are examples of what consent looks like: after agreeing to have sex, each person engages enthusiastically in sexual activity. Every step of the way, while sexting, hooking up, or while in a committed relationship, there is continuous communication. Respecting the other person when they say no or are unsure about anything—from sending pictures while having sex to having sex. The other person is able to make informed decisions, is not intoxicated, disabled, or coerced. Consent must be freely and clearly demonstrated. The absence of a "no" does not mean a "yes." The same is true of "maybe," silence, or failure to respond.

You don't have another person's consent if: they're sleeping or unconscious you use threats or intimidation to force someone into something they're disabled by drugs or alcohol you use a position of authority or trust, such as a teacher or employer they change their minds — earlier consent doesn't count as later you ignore their wishes or nonverbal signs to stop, such as your consent to one sexual act, like pushing away, but not another sexual act.