Guidelines to the role of A Step Parent

As we all know parenting itself is a difficult responsibility and a tricky business and things can get get even more difficult if you find yourself in the role of a step parent. Here's how you can over come the challenges.

In step parenting the relationship between a parent and a child is rarely a smooth journey. Your toddler may yell at you for withholding his/her favourite toy, your teenager may fume when he/ she  is grounded for not doing homework, 

which like most relationships, involves give and take, especially on the part of the parent. You cannot over parent at the same time are responsible for bringing up a well rounded and adjusted individual. So the role of parenting is very challenging. 

And what can make this role even trickier is when you have to assume the role of a step parent when you enter into a relationship with a partner who had kids from his first marriage. Who are very much a part of his life. 

Here are some basic points to remember :

Set your expectations low 

It is highly unlikely that you and your step children will hit it off from day one. So it is important you do not set overly high expectations as you will be setting yourself up for disappointments.

Don't invest too heavily early on. Let the child set the space. Take your cues from the child and back off when you feel you may be overstepping the limits.

You need to respect their space 

Depending on the circumstances in which your partner has parted with his ex, your step children will be going through a lot of transformation in their lives. They will be feeling insecure, they will be going through gamut of emotions. 

They will be feeling unloved. They may be feeling their father is abandoning them for someone else. Instead of smothering them with affection give them their space. It is very important that child should be able to deal with the trauma and come to a comfortable place here one should not push the child. 

Avoid confrontation 

As we all know there can be a lot of hostility on part of the step children. After all, if their parents have parted ways, and if the split has not been dealt with sensitivity, adjusting to a new person in their life can be unsettling. 

They may not be ready to allow a  new person to enter their lives. There may be lot of pent up emotions to explode. Show empathy and gently handle the situation. Don't suggest or do anything that may make the child uncomfortable.

Maintain a friendship 

Whatever and come what may, you need to ensure that your step children understand that you are their friend. You should make it clear that you are not their to replace their mother.

Friendship should be the foundation of your relationship with them.
The child had to develop trust. Do things the child likes to do. Allow the child to open up.