Does your partner in crime finds it weird when you talk about Sex? This is what I experienced when I tried doing that during a date

When it comes to the big word SEX the opinion changes. Every person looks at and thinks about it in a very distinct way.

So, when you  are in love and dating a person and has a strong physical attraction towards him or her, what do you do? You can either keep quiet by doing so you will be disturbed and you are going to suffer mentally and emotionally or you can do an other thing that is share what is going on in your mind. Being a well settled man in early thirties, I may not be new to all this. I have dated girls and have been in love with a few with whom I had dreamt of sharing my life, unfortunately, things never turned out the way I had wanted it to be. When  I date a girl, obviously I would be having a strong physical attraction towards her. Trust me, by telling a girl that I find her physically attractive not always goes down all well.

Some time back on a dating app I met a girl online and we were going steady for about six months. We shared a great chemistry and I was going head over heels for her. One night, we were on a long drive with romantic music pouring out from the cars speakers and I was mesmerised by how great she looked under the soft moonlight. It was the moment I realised I wanted to hold her in my arms and shower kisses on her. I could not hold back my thoughts and spoke my mind. How could you think such a thing? You are such a pervert!

For a second I was shocked. All I said was she was the woman I would like to make love to for the  rest of my life. I neither forced her to have sex nor told her will make it. What’s wrong in saying what I felt at that moment? We were dating each other, I was in love with her I found her very attractive. It was not like u would have done anything without her consent, but she treated me like I was with her only because I wanted to have sex with her, which was wrong. Before I could explain anything, she requested me to take her back to her home and gradually stopped all communication with me.

Once a fool always a fool. I never dared to cite the topic of physical intimacy with any girl thereafter. However, one of my friends realised that I have grown very reserved and she asked me the reason. When I discussed the incident with her, she held my hand and said, you need to come out of it. I always respect her choice. When she didn’t want have sex she could have dealt in a mature way. Everyone has his or her choice, you had yours and she should have respected that.

Years passed, I got into a relationship and this time I always avoided the topic of sex for the fear of being judged.

Sometimes, I even felt like a hypocrite and my girlfriend sensed that something was wrong with me. When she found out what was bothering me, she explained that she wanted to have sex only after getting married but that does not mean she would judge people who indulges in premarital sex. We were deeply in love and wanted to tie the knot, but grew apart after I moved to the US. I still regret that I lost her but I will always be thankful to her for making me regain my collapsing self esteem.

When you turn out to be an adult, there is nothing wrong in wanting or experiencing sex with a person you love.

But at the same time, one should also respect his or her choice of willingness. Consent and responsible behaviour like using a protection are the most important aspects here. However, not everyone thinks alike. Yes you might me judged or might even be called a pervert, but that does not mean you are one. You should understand that our society still considers sex as taboo and being a part of the system, you will have to understand and respect that as well