Mother is the reason behind every child's mistake?,Is Our Society Suffering From "Blame The Mother" Syndrome?

A heart touching momentous highly acclaimed and award- winning movie "Tumhari Sulu" in which the character of Sulu has been brilliantly potrayed  by the inimitable Vidya Balan, where she had  been stood up for  herself and refused to be solely blamed for her son going astray at school. This article is not about what worked and what didn't work for me. But it is refreshing to see a mother being so objective, without wallowing in guilt, in  a crisis situation. 

 14 Years of motherhood has enriched my grey cells  in many ways and one of the ways i have recognized is "Blame the Mother" syndrome. Blame this Blaming is a kind of disorder i say or it is ingrained patriarchy or instinctive tendency to find faults and overanalyze others' problems or plain insensitivity, but whatever be the cause of it, it is something we need to call out on unequivocally. #IDidntKnow/#MujheSabNahiPatha...Mothers are always expected to be the ones with answers to every questions. Under pressure we forget the simple  gesture of asking for HELP.

I have been privy to directly or indirectly wherein people have been quick to unfairly blame the mother for any untoward occurrences related to her child. Couple of days back my Sons IX th grade results were out and i was held responsible by my family for the poor performance of my child in his Annual Exams. Do you all know why? Brace yourselves! Iam really facing the wrath from my own kin as iam a "working" mother and hence, according to my people my son is not recieving adequate guidance. Sigh! If we take this as the logic more than half of the world's kids would have been performing below par in academics.

well, the bitter truth is that all this is not something atypical. As parents, we all are extremely vigilant when it comes to our kids but still accidents happen. Mothers cant be gods, we are humans and they are children .

Sometimes the Velocity of their actions surpasses the swiftness of our reactions. And thanks to our social conditioning, a mother is usually already feeling guilty and responsible during unpleasant episodes when it comes to her child. 

Honestly, it is not fair to blame mothers or any parent  for any thing or everything happening to their children. It is also unfair to hold parents accountable for all their child's deeds. 

Though our own focus levels, beliefs, values and parenting methodologies are instrumental in shaping the personalities of our children, there are numerous other factors in the child's milieu which influence them too. Yes, my child is my responsibility but i will falter and learn along the way. If you genuinely want to help a parent who you think is doing it wrong, your approach needs to be placid and gentle.

My dear friends and dear Mothers  a small message for your all " Never put yourself on a pedestal that society has created always trust your instincts. You will get better at parenting with every passing day. Never dwell upon what goes wrong.. In motherhood one gets wiser with experiences, sometimes our mistakes are our good lessons. I have learnt to let go off my mommy guilt and trust me, it has helped me become a much better parent today".