Rubaroo event leaves many girls tormented

Hyderabad: The Rubaroo (face-to-face) matrimonial programme has turned into a nightmare for many young girls. Hoping to get a better-match, the girls shed their privacy each time the prospective grooms’ families interact. Some who are not ready to face the ordeal have stopped to visit such programs, as they do not want to face further embarrassment of being rejected once again. Rubaroo matrimonial programs are being organised by different Muslim organizations, mostly on Sundays, at community halls and function halls in areas, such as Saidabad, Moghalpura, Asif Nagar and Toli Chowki.

Each time the program is organised, hundreds of people attend in a hope of getting a better match for their sons and daughters. In the program, the prospects should bring their matrimonial bio-data with a photo copy and register in an organisation. Most organizations hold this for free, but some accept a nominal fee of Rs 200, with a validity of six-months. Some organisations accept considerable amount if match is fixed. On the day of Rubaroo, the organisers call names of applicants to get their bio-data and match requirements. Interested families interact with each other, and they also exchange their details with each other for further process.

However, the negative aspect of this program is that scores of unmarried girls are falling into depression because of continuous rejections. But the parents remain persistent, as most of them do not want to offer dowries in their daughter’s marriage or for other social reasons. “My family hoped that Rubaroo would benefit us, but due to some reasons possibly due to less educational background, I was rejected by many. Many families also visited my house through this channel, but of no avail,” said Fatima (name changed), a resident of Moghalpura.

There are thousands of applicants, and the response slows down in some cases, said Shaheen Sultana, a mother. “It is a good program, but this does not give quick responses, as the applications pile up. We have been attending the program every Sunday for the past several months, hoping to get better match for our daughter. We cannot afford matrimonial services by private organizations that not only charge from us, but also encourage the families of bridegrooms to insist on dowries for their share,” she said.

According to organisers, many of the marriages are successful, and the program is best way to get matches. “The Rubaroo has achieved a good success rate and is being conducted by many of the Muslim organizations. Scores of applicants were benefited during the last few years,” one organizer said.  
Meanwhile, some social activists feel that the organizers should fine tune the program with some reforms, keeping in view the privacy of individuals. “As per the Indian law, every person has a right to privacy. Here the privacy of girls is compromised and the names of males were made public through announcements. 

According to Islamic sharia, this is not the correct way for fixing matrimony. Some organisers also upload applications on their online sites ending up in exploitation and falling prey to fraudsters,” said Ilyas Shamsi, Qarib of Hari Masjid in King Kothi and a social activist. Shamsi also said that Rubaroo program has also become a poaching ground for matchmakers. There were instances where matchmakers attended the program for running their own businesses. There is also a risk of bio-data changing hands. “In the olden days, the marriages were fixed by relatives, friends and neighbors. But today, it became a difficult task,” he added. He appealed to all the Muslims to stay away from such programs, and to fix matches involving persons whom they believe.