'I was the loneliest guy in the world,' Virat Kohli recalls depression phase during 2014 England tour
Indian cricket captain Virat Kohli once again recalled his tough phase of depression during the disastrous tour of England in 2014, saying he couldn't do anything to overturn things and felt like he was "the loneliest guy in the world."
The tour, which saw India get thrashed 3-1 in the five-match Test series, saw Kohli score only 134 runs in as many as 10 innings at an average of 13.40. In a conversation with former English cricketer Mark Nicholas on his podcast, Kohli once again admitted that he suffered from depression five years ago.
"Yes, I did," Kohli said on being asked whether he had suffered from depression at the time.
"It's not a great feeling to wake up knowing that you won't be able to score runs and I think all batsmen have felt that at some stage that you are not in control of anything at all. You just don't understand how to get over it. That was a phase when I literally couldn't do anything to overturn things...I felt like I was the loneliest guy in the world.
Personally, for me, that was a revelation that you could feel that lonely even though you a part of a big group. I won't say I didn't have people who I could speak to but not having a professional to speak to who could understand what I am going through completely, I think is a huge factor," Kohli added.
Kohli's scores in the 10 innings read 1, 8, 25, 0, 39, 28, 0,7, 6 and 20 as England fast bowler James Anderson made him his bunny, dismissing him on four occasions. Kohli, who has 70 international centuries now, looked out of place in the seaming English conditions.
In Nicholas' podcast, Kohli went on to add that people should change their viewpoint towards depression and must take professional help who can totally understand one's thought process as well as provide the help to come out of it.
"Someone whom you can go to at any stage, have a conversation around and say 'Listen this is what I am feeling, I am finding it hard to even go to sleep, I feel like I don't want to wake up in the morning. I have no confidence in myself, what do I do?' A lot of people suffer from that feeling for longer periods of time, it carries on for months, it carries on for a whole cricket season, people are not able to get out of it," said Kohli.
India are currently hosting England in a four-match Test series. It is 1-1 after opening two games, with Joe Root's side winning the opening Test before Kohli and Co bouncing back in the second game. The third Test is set to begin on Feb. 24 at Sardar Patel Stadium, Ahmedabad.