Director Onir To Bring Author Raga Olga D'silva's Coming Out Story To The Big Screen

The Coming Out

National Award-winning film director and producer Onir of ANTICLOCK FILMS announces a film adaptation of author Raga Olga D'silva's "coming out" story to embrace love of all kinds and celebrate diverse cinema.

One Google search will reveal hundreds of results that speak of Raga Olga D'Silva, a successful entrepreneur and director of Speaking Minds - India's largest international speaker-marketing agency. Raga's career in advertising, a few years ago, was peppered with several distinctions and awards, and her foray into the business world has been an illustrious one too. She is considered an expert on the speaker community from across the world. And, she is also a speaker herself, much sought after to speak on various personality developments topics; besides her experiences as an LGBTQ+ member. Raga was happily married and with two children, twins; which is when she realised she is gay, and eventually she decided to come out. She separated from her husband and now lives with her partner and children. Her book 'Untold Lies' is a collection of nine short stories and poetry and it briefly touches upon same-sex relationships, but it is the next one that is going to be semi-autobiographical; the latter is also the one that is being made into a feature film by National Award-winning director Onir. Two simple words, 'Coming Out' carry with them immense courage, great resolve, and continued strength to fight society, family, and the ridicule and prejudice that constantly cross the path.

A Role Model

Raga has managed to cross the most bothersome and difficult hurdles and today she stands to tell the story, to everyone else who might develop a better understanding of LGBTQAI+, to women who are fighting with an identity crisis and are struggling to be confident with self, and also for those from within the community, who lack the courage, and inspiration. Raga is indeed a role model on several fronts. She is a role model. She shares the reason she agreed to share her deeply personal story with the world through her book, which is soon going to become a movie.

"Many in the past have asked me. But, I was not ready. I felt vulnerable. But when Onir asked me I felt safe. I watched his films like 'My Brother Nikhil' and I like the way he handles the LGBTQ issues with sensibility. There have been films in recent times like 'Shubh Mangal Zyada Savdhaan' etc., but when I saw them I couldn't feel anything. The outsiders unless they have proper understanding will lack sensitivity. The perspective gets lost. So far the mainstream has been disappointing in the way they portrayed the community. I knew Onir will take care of my book and he will take care of me. And so, I wrote my story for his film. It is this story that will get published as a book by probably, the end of this year," shares Raga.

Being a woman in LGBTQ community

For Raga, being a woman and a lesbian is like a double disadvantage. She agrees, "It is a patriarchal society and even within the community gay men find it easier to come out. If you look around you hear more gay voices than that of lesbians. There are no women role models."

She adds, "A woman can either be married or single. She cannot be in any relationship or be seen with anyone, which automatically translates to a scandal. Not just in India, in several parts of the world, when a woman gets divorced, the blame is always on her. And here I was not just separated, but had children and in a lesbian relationship."

Evidently it was no fairy tale as many assume, "The first part of my life when I was separated – it was hugely traumatic for me. Getting a divorce is almost like killing yourself. You go through grief and guilt because of the children. I was going through personal trauma all alone. Friends leave you one by one to avoid taking sides. I was in New Zealand. At some point, I decided to explore my sexuality. I took a lot of time to accept myself. I told myself I was only experimenting. I used to do it secretly. It was not until September last year that I decided I was going to write this book and put my story out there in a small way." she relates.

Coming Out

She explains how she finally decided, "I reached a point when I got tired of hiding. My biggest shame is I wish I had told my family and introduced them to my partner and said - This is Nikhila and we are in a committed relationship. We must begin by learning to respect our partner, and that doesn't just mean being nice to them. We have to acknowledge our partner and to ourselves that -I have a partner and it does not matter that she is from the same sex."

Commenting on the state of affairs in India, "It is not enough to have a section that allows sexual relationship. There must be civil laws in place. People in a live-in relationship also have rights in India to purchase a house, to fill a form during school admission."

What has worked for Raga, and her family, and what keeps them together? 'The magic of Love', she says. "Some people have one parent. Our children have two mothers and a father. I think love is the most important ingredient in life; when there is love everything else is sorted. We have provided children with a lot of love and safe family; that brings dialogue and any doubt they have they can come to us. "My partner and my children encouraged me to write the book and said this should be an example for people not to fear being judged. You have not murdered anyone. You are just living life."