Balancing Love, Career, and In-laws: A Modern Marital Struggle

One day, a couple approached us with a complaint regarding the lack of proper attention and affection from the husband. The wife expressed that her husband, being very busy due to the demands of his career, struggles to provide the level of attention she desires. She yearns for permission to touch him, hug him, and spend private time together. However, given his early career phase, he is deeply engrossed in upscaling his skills, adjusting to a new role, and learning the demands and work culture of his company. Compounded by the fact that they live with his parents, certain conditions influence their regular lifestyle, leading to significant stress for both partners.

The wife articulated her struggle in comprehending her relationship with him. She experiences immense pressure day and night, attempting to fathom how to nurture the relationship further. These challenges have left her pondering how she might sustain a lifelong bond if the situation remains unchanged. After having an assessment, she is suffering from anxiety, overthinking, and adjustment disorder.

Some of the challenges girls might face after marriage:

Marriage is one big decision in any person’s life because after marriage, her whole lifestyle changes. Even though a girl makes a lot of compromises to adjust in a new family, some still can’t please their in-laws.

Change in lifestyle:

Her whole lifestyle and daily routine change. You are no longer at your parents’ house; you now have to adapt to the routine and lifestyle of your in-laws’ house, and it is one of the major problems girls face. Food habits, regular lifestyle, financial limitations.

Move with the style of the house:

Waking up early in the morning, doing all the household chores on time, cannot speak loudly or with aggression to anyone. These restrictions are only because Indian in-laws will expect from a new Bahu.

Major or Minor decisions have to be discussed with the family:

You have to involve your in-laws before making any major decisions because they are the elders in the house, and you have to give them respect to involve them. It will help her to move life smoothly without any problems from elders or husband.

Not getting enough pampering:

People look at you as an independent, well-grown individual; everyone thinks you are a well-matured person. Due to this, it’s a fact no one can pamper you as much as your parents, not even your husband and in-laws. Staying with in-laws means you do not get enough pampering from your husband also as he also needs to maintain a balance between job, wife, and his parents.

Need to compose:

One most important thing about marriage is adjustment. To adjust means you can’t say things which you always wanted to say to your in-laws and have to be silent and observe and accept things, though you don’t like them. You have one choice to discuss with your husband, but many times the husband also feels helpless.

Must be polite and slow:

One thing that you have to keep in mind is not to be fast, harsh, and rude. You can’t say nasty things to them; you can’t show your anger in front of your in-laws. You need to be very calm and composed, and sometimes it is very frustrating not to express your feelings. But keeping in mind these are probationary periods to understand, get training to be comfortable with the environment and people, these things will be helpful for the future life with the husband and in-laws.

Symptoms of overthinking:

Overthinking — also referred to as rumination — is when you repetitively dwell on the same thought or situation over and over to the point that it disrupts your life. Overthinking usually falls into two categories: ruminating about the past and worrying about the future.

lThinking about the same thoughts, worries, or fears over and over again

l Imagining worst-case scenarios

l Repeatedly replaying something bad that happened in the past

l Spending lots of time thinking negative thoughts about the past or future

l Feeling down or depressed because of your thoughts

l Thinking about something so much that you have difficulty concentrating on anything else

l Continuing to think about a situation when you have already identified reasonable solutions

l Being unable to move on to the next important issue because you keep ruminating on the same problem

l If anyone is suffering from the above issues, better meet a psychologist to get the proper training to come out of it to have a better life with the partner.