Do you value yourself?

Lack of self-worth is a common phenomenon. Most people have areas that they feel high on self-worth and aspects that they feel low about themselves. However, when you harbour this feeling of low self-esteem, then any amount of success or growth in the world can make you happy.

Rob Moore, the author of the book 'I'm Worth More' published by Hachette India, says he has written the book for those who compare yourself to anyone, only to feel empty and unworthy, feel lost, have low self-worth and talk yourself down and out of things, beat yourself up about mistakes, failings, and things in the past, and even feel that you don't deserve success – and he addresses these issues in the book, beginning with the perception of reality.

He says each one of us can create our own reality. An individual's perception is conceived as reality and it changes with the change in perception. Hence to change your reality, or what you consider reality, all you need to do is change your perception. And the same holds good for self-worth, which may be driven by what your parents told you or your peers made you think.

This perception of yourself may go back a long time, and you may be believing it deeply as reality. Yet, according Rob, 'your self-worth is malleable because it is only your perception of you.' Hence, it is entirely your choice what you believe about yourself.

What do people, who harbour fears and often judge and blame themselves usually do to feel worthy – buy things they can't afford only to impress others, talk badly of others to feel better, constantly seek approval, and when on the receiving end of criticism, take it badly, and act on whim – and to such people Rob says, any amount of making others laugh will not make you happy, any amount of approval from others can never please you.

And to be able to get out of this cycle of seeking approval and under valuing yourself, the author suggests the 'triple A policy' – Be aware of your emotions and accept who you are, and act balanced in any situation.

The author places a lot of emphasis on 'self-worth' which he sees as intrinsic to lift a person up in every area of life. He says, that people spend much time, money and effort in avoiding the deeper causes, in the hope that something external will save them. And to quote him – 'There are no market forces governing your self-worth.

Self-worth is entirely subjective. It is a perception that isn't a reality but becomes your reality. Some self-worth resistance may not be your fault, but if you want to improve it, it is your responsibility to manage and change it. You can.'

And surely it doesn't come with temporary acquisitions, or a holiday that will only last a few days, or change of outfit, or house. The author, who is a successful entrepreneur takes case studies from his experiences, and says it needs a systematic strategy to feel worthy of yourself.

He quotes his own thoughts and self-doubt while writing this book, and the reviews, and what it has taught him. He says, 'Don't let others' opinions of you distract you from where you want to go in life.

Several other important issues are dwelled upon in the book, like, for example – how the people you spend most of your time with, make or break you, how you must learn to say 'No', and how it is important to forgive yourself, care for yourself etc.,

And he can't be more true when he says, 'You don't need fixing. You simply need to realise your value to unleash your potential'

- RK