Is the bonding of care getting lost?

Bonding is the intense attachment that develops between parents and their baby. It makes parents want to shower their baby with love and affection and to protect and care for their little one. Bonding gets parents up in the middle of the night to feed their hungry baby and makes them attentive to the baby's wide range of cries.

But in many families today, mothers continue to work because they have careers that they have spent years developing. Some women return to work soon after giving birth because they know that most employers in this country are not sympathetic to working mothers who wish to take time off to be with their young children.

If these women stop working, even for several months, they may give up some of the advantages they have earned or risk losing certain career opportunities.

As more women enter the workforce and remain there, more and more children are cared for by adults who are not their parents. Family members sometimes assume childcare tasks, or children are cared for in a variety of childcare settings.

Not surprisingly, working mothers are more likely to have their babies and young children in a childcare center. However, most children ages three to five are in preschool regardless of whether their mother works outside the home. All parents want their children to have the best possible start in school, so they are likely to enroll their three and four four-year in a play school.

Dr Stella a mother of a one and a half year old daughter stress, "It is a task when we need to make time for our kids, but one of the best things that I have done is getting my daughter in this world and so I would never turn up on giving all the love and care she deserves. It gets difficult at times but the more I spend time with her I get to bond with her in every aspect and that is the best thing about working and still giving the memorable time to my kid."

On the other hand J Sunita (name changed) who is a mother of a two year old son says, "I feel sad that I am not able to give time to my kid due to my work hours. It is hard to leave them with a caretaker at home or leave him in cherish.

Sometimes I freak out for small things as I do not get enough time to bond with my son."

While stressing so much on bonding with kids is truly a topic that should be spoken about frequently like these mothers who have shown concern about bonding with their kids, here are some of the things you can keep in mind to bond with your babies.

Impact on child

Some people still think that a "good mother" is one who leaves work to stay home with her children. However, no evidence says that children are harmed when their mothers work.

The development of a child is more influenced by the emotional health of the family, how the family feels about the work of the mother and the quality of childcare. A child who is emotionally well adapted, loved and well cared for will thrive regardless of whether the mother works outside the home.

A mother who successfully manages both external work and fatherhood provides a role model for her child. In most families with working mothers, each person plays a more active role in the home.

Children tend to take care of each other and help in other ways. The father is more likely to help with household chores and parenting, as well as family support. These positive results are more likely when the working mother feels valued and supported by family.

Problems

Problems can arise if a woman does not want to work or if her husband does not want her to work. If a woman works because she needs the money, she may have to take a job she doesn't like. In that case, you should be careful not to bring your frustration and unhappiness to your home, where it will extend to family relationships. The message that children can receive in this situation is that work is unpleasant and harmful instead of generating self-esteem.

Family relationships can suffer if both parents want to work but only one has a job. Problems can also occur if there is competition or resentment because one parent is earning more money than the other. Such conflicts can force marriage and make children feel threatened and insecure. With both parents working, the need for mutual support and communication is even more important.

Family time

Parents may feel so divided between family and career that they have little time for a social life or each other. Both parents need to share household and childcare responsibilities so

that one will not end up doing most of the work and feeling resentful.

Take the time to prepare yourself and your family, so that the adjustment is as easy as possible for everyone. Time your return to work so that stress is minimal.

If at all possible, avoid having your return coincide with other major family changes, such as moving or changing schools, or personal crises, such as illness or death in the family; arrange trustworthy child care as far in advance as possible.

Future of child

The first few years of life are very important in shaping a child's future personality, but this does not mean that the mother is the only one able to do the shaping. In fact, childcare seems to have some important benefits for young children.

Youngsters who are routinely cared for by individuals other than their parents may be slightly more independent than other children. A high quality, stimulating, and also prepares children for school, both socially and intellectually.

Quality childcare

Finding quality childcare is very important. Standards for childcare settings may vary depending on the type of childcare. Parents can, however, improve their children's childcarecenter by becoming actively involved.

You can visit them regularly and talk with the caregiver often and extensively. You also can get involved in fund raising and donating supplies, can volunteer to help, or can work with the staff to create developmentally appropriate activities for the children.

It also helps to bring the child's activities home for family interaction, and on weekends, to try to maintain the child's weekday schedule.

Parents need to be especially attentive when they are with their children. The more involved parents are in all aspects of their children's life—even when they are not physically with their children—the closer they will feel and the more effective they will be as parents.