Men, patriarchy and household labour amid lockdown

I have been witnessing men actively exhibiting their quarantine involvement in household work in social media platforms for the past one month - sweeping, cooking, mopping, cleaning utensils, washing clothes, cutting vegetables and other household chores. There is huge content in circulation on social media platforms that speak volumes about the provisional labour of men, often in the form of memes. The Covid-19 lockdown is making the men carry out tasks which they generally consider as 'womanly job'.

The lockdown is allowing us to understand the patriarchal perspective of men/people towards the household work that's being forced on women for the past many centuries. Men's role in domestic work during this quarantine time is very much situational. They are doing this not as a responsibility but as a leisurely act. While most of them are making a mockery of themselves doing domestic work, some are trying to display their culinary skills. This mockery is targeted on the domestic work but not on men themselves. On the other side, there is an increase in the exploitation of women's labour in home.

Men are so reluctant to involve in domestic work and attributes that work as 'unmanly'. They say that 'domestic work is the moral responsibility of women' and 'kitchen is the ladies section'. Under the utopian elevation of women as the food feeder of the family, the men have confined the borders of women within those four walls. Men hardly show concern about what his life partner wanted to achieve. They only think that women are more interested in the material wealth of sarees and jewellery. They ridicule them for their choice of appearance and look at them as carriers of men's respect in public places. They look at them as their physical material belonging. They have completely failed to look at women beyond it. In fact, they actually have become the hurdles for their progress, knowingly or unknowingly.

Women were told to get married to a 'good' man and take care of the husband, house and children as primary job to live a 'happy' life. Men were told to get a job first, get married and keep achieving in life. Women were trained to look for their happiness in the achievements of their husbands and children. Men were trained to look at their wives as beneficiaries of their achievements. The patriarchal society hardly told the women to achieve their dreams. It actually never asked them what they wanted to become. In the time period, SHE lost her dream.

Men feel insulted in doing domestic work. The male ego doesn't allow them to perform the job which they consider as menial. They consider the domestic work as something disrespectful. They assume that their dignity will be at stake in performing the domestic tasks. Even if they do, they do it secretively. They showcase it as a punishment by their wives. They try to hide the act from public discourse to keep up to their masculine norms.

Men have generated a sense of power by not doing domestic work. They use this power to control the members in house and the household activities. They sense a loss of power when they do the domestic work. They use all means to keep this structure alive. They compare women to some random goddess, represent them as a symbol of sacrifice, icon of patience and keep exploiting the labour of women in house and just do a token appreciation in return. Men are also afraid of their loss of control over women if they share the domestic tasks. They live in this superiority complex and try all possible means, from time to time, to retain this supremacy over women.

They look at women in a subordinated position and restrain their movement, independence and even the thought too. There are men on a countable number who cook, but just as a passion and not as a responsibility. They just wanted to 'help' her but they never consider the domestic work as their responsibility. To them, it is a recreational act, a work to find some peace from their everyday routine. They shower sympathy on women to keep them stick to the regular burdensome tasks. They enjoy the privilege of choice unlike women. Men deny their duty to be performed inside the house. They look at house as space free from work. For women, the house is a 24/7 work space which is an unpaid labour without any leisure.

This deep seated idea of gender based roles is a serious problem to be addressed. Men need to understand that the household chores are supposed to be shared by every individual staying under one roof. There is a requirement for a change to this patriarchal perspective of labour. If not, then the dreams of many women are going to be vanished in future too.

(The writer is pursuing his Phd from Department of Journalism and Mass Communication, Osmania University and also teaches media studies to undergraduate students in Hyderabad)