Do you really want to drive your success?

We already have dreams and we define our success our way. But how to drive it to achieve them faster, better and accurate is the wise question. When I was a child, I overheard someone saying, "A person grows as much as his/her self-esteem."

I was unaware what it meant then. For this to be understood, I will have to quote an incident of my childhood. Though not originally from Gujarat, but being born and brought there created situations of confronting a bunch of children who happened to be from Gujarat.

Since it was an everyday affair to play with them in the evening, whenever there was a dispute, I was always compartmentalized and all others would team up to tease me and talk in their mother tongue. I would come home crying to my mom and tell her that all the children had treated me badly. I decided not to go out to play. My self-confidence was low because I could not understand what they would talk amongst themselves in Gujarati and laugh.

Then one day suddenly a thought struck my mind: "what if I know this language? Will it make me aware of what they are talking and make me feel stronger to handle them. I still remember that day when I told my mother that I would take up Gujarati as a subject in school too. She was surprised but then agreed. I took up Gujarati as a subject. I used to look into the mirror and practice the sentences to thinking that I need to be prepared if there is a fight or dispute.

Within a month I could see that my confidence has raised and I started to go back to play. Slowly I found my thought process changing and I started seeing myself as part of the team with them and began to enjoy. Now it was inevitable to stop me to go out to play. I still remember my expressions and talks with the mirror which brought back my self-confidence.

A lot has been written, researched and experimented on the mirror work which I came to know much later in my life but I had already applied that in my life fully just by seven years of my age. It's all about who gives us confidence. We are ones who create confidence within ourselves. No one else has the ability to create it unless we want it to be created and we are party to creating it within us as well. When we get convinced, it is possible suddenly everything seems easy and smooth to handle isn't it? What is the simple way to name it- "our self-esteem"?

There are so many persons who feel inhibited to talk in front of public as they feel that they lack self-confidence. Standing in front of the mirror and practicing your confrontations is a good beginning that can help you go a long way. Even if you are a star performer, public speaking is a must for everyone.

Whether it is meeting, an interview, a debate, an argument, an opinion expression, presentation, project explanations, group discussions, confronting your superior at work place, expressing what is acceptable and what is not acceptable; this skill is a must in terms of excelling in any field you are.

Whatever you do, you must learn how to manage your confrontations. And you can do it best if you are full of self-confidence. Self-confidence can be built up by knowing your traits and developing them through different techniques. Reading, writing, mocking, doing activities like drama or dance can also help in improving expression and thereby self-esteem.

It is basically about understanding that "You can handle it".

If you gain an understanding and start realizing that you can handle yourself, your self-esteem will grow. So, keep improving on your self-confidence to boost your self esteem. Because – "Your Self Esteem is the driver to drive you high on your Goals; So, make the most of it!"

The author is the Performance Coach (www.shachi.co). For more questions you may write your questions on [email protected])