Pride against prejudice: LGBT community long way to go to get social acceptance?

Bengaluru: Social media has been a significant part of creating awareness about the LGBTQ+ rights and India has definitely come a long way where homosexuality and queer identities are acceptable to many Indian youngsters. However, whether they can come out of the closet or open up about their gender or sexual orientation comfortably in front of their family members, peer groups, and so on still remains a question.

Coming out of the closet

Sophia David, a human rights advocate, says that you pick up on the differentiation at an early age.The placement of gender contradicts with who you are; the world looks at you in one way but you know who you truly are. "I was very young when I realised that I am a woman. I could witness the other girls dropped off at a different school but I was put in a uniform that I didn't associate myself with, studying in a boys' school where we were dressed alike in shorts and everybody else had short hair, that's where the conflict primarily began. I was sure that I was supposed to be studying at a girls' school. While sex is assigned by birth, gender is placed on you. When a gender is placed, it is usually through the outfit worn, the toys bought, the school you're in, the pronouns you're addressed with and so on," she says.

"Teenage is a boiling pot of thoughts for an individual, mostly due to the changes that one's body is going through with the raging hormones trying to push an individual towards adulthood. For a trans teenager, it's a completely different struggle altogether. When most of my guy friends were excited about hair growth and body, I was going through severe angst and grief as I did not want that. 95% of trans youth consider suicide at one point or the other as there is a struggle with mental health, anxiety which in turn boils down to suicidal tendencies. They begin to feel that everything is against them. It's not difficult to break those kids' hopes as they are already broken from the inside. Thanks to teachers who notice the struggle and identify what they are good at. Pop culture, literature and psychiatric associations have also played a major role in creating awareness as they realise that they aren't the only ones going through this and help them in finding a community. Even though this isn't a solution, it just puts an individual at ease as they can find an outlet,"she adds.

Open up to anyone whom you're comfortable with. "Start with one person. There is no mechanism that suggests someone to start with their family first. What someone experiences in a family differs from what they experience at a workplace, school, with their peer groups, and the rest."

Alex (name changed), a 23-year-old cis male, says that he realised about his sexual orientation at a very young age. "It's pretty easy to understand who I actually was. A lot of people go through a phase of denial where they look at their situations from several perspectives and find it difficult to accept who they really are. It becomes ten times harder to open up about themselves when they are at this stage. This happens due to the reason that they've been told about what their identity is from their childhood. When I recognised what I was, I spoke to a few friends and most of them were extremely supportive," he says.

What can the Society and the Government do about it?

Obtaining an Aadhar card or any such identity cards is a huge process. "Without an identity card, healthcare, job opportunities, banking, education, residency and a lot more are denied. Nevertheless, the process of getting an Aadhar card is huge, painful and discriminatory at the same time.This is one of the reasons why the trans community is still struggling," reveals Sophia.

Talking about the organisations who want to include people who belong to the LGBTQ+ community, she says "The organisations are thinking from an equality lens and it would be great if they could move towards the equity lens. If an organisation says that they will be equitable i.e., if they can get rid of the criteria that speaks about a degree and skills, then that organisation can boldly say that they are LGBTQ+friendly."

Alex believes that it is important to make any person feel safe and comfortable in the society. "Nobody has to pressure an individual to open up about themselves as it is easier to talk about their sexual orientation and gender when they are in a secure and a relaxed environment. When a child knows that it is safe, this child will not be afraid of judgement. As parents, teachers or friends, the only assurance that you should provide is that it is okay to talk about these things," he adds.

The Progress

"People have become more accepting these days and since there are psychologists who have created some awareness, many of them understand that someone who belongs to the LGBTQ+ community is not suffering from a mental health disorder. Social media has played its part in supporting the community as well. At the end of the day, it's vital to stay strong," he says.

Sophia David is the first woman officiant in India to facilitate a gay wedding who intends and hopes that she can use her influence to bring happiness to many queer folks who want to be wed.She also believes that the law in India has always followed its people, if more queer folk get wed and want to get into marital contracts, then the lawmakers will lean towards bringing social change in the form of marriage equality for the queer community in India. "Although I was extremely nervous in the beginning as we were concerned about what our families might be going through, the reaction of their family members after the wedding was a delight as we received a huge support from them. The room was filled with light and happiness. There were many children playing around as it was just another wedding they were witnessing and might have told themselves 'Shaadi aisabhihotahai' (A wedding can be between two men as well)," she concludes.

She has also been raising funds to go through a surgery on Milaap, tap on the link below to donate now.

http://milaap.org/fundraisers/support-sophia-david