Deal with shy children

A shy child is anxious or inhibited in unfamiliar situations or when interacting with others. A shy child is most likely to be nervously constrained if they feel they are 'on show', such as when meeting someone new or having to speak in front of others.

A shy child is much more comfortable to watch the action from the sidelines rather than join in.

Children who suffer from extreme shyness may grow out of it as they mature or they may grow up to be shy adults.

Parents can help their children to overcome mild shyness.These are some of the ways a parent can help them

Find a great preschool

Shy children can blossom in the right environment. Try to choose a program that has a teacher-to-student ratio of no more than 1:7 (state-mandated maximum ratios range from 1:7 to 1:20 for kids this age).

Bring her to the new school several days before classes start, so she can meet the teachers and become familiar with the layout of the building.

Let the teacher know about your child's shyness, and together create a plan to make your child feel more at ease. Stay in close contact with the teacher during the school year so you can work with her to address any problems.

Give your child time to prepare

In all situations, your child's anxiety will decrease if she kno­ws what to expect. A few days bef­ore a birthday party, for example, you might arrange to tak­e your child to the friend's house to meet the parents and hear about the schedule of events.

Practice at home

Make a game out of acting out different scenario with your child, such as meeting a new kid at school. Switch roles so your child can experience both sides of the social equation.

Smith helps Ami practice what to do if another girl wants to share her doll, for example, or if a rough boy tries to grab a toy she's playing with.

Replace pessimism

Shy behavior is often rooted in negative thought patterns ("The other kids won't like me") that cause self-doubt. Help your child reduce the critical messages in her mind by giving her positive reinforcement ("You played so nicely with that boy") and encouraging her to remind herself that she's doing okay.

Focus on one-on-one interaction

Many shy kids feel more comfortable with just one other person than they do in a crowd. Arranging and attending play dates can give your shy child a chance to practice social skills and deepen friendships.

Having even one friend whom they like and who likes them back helps kids feel happier and be less of a target for bullying. If necessary, go over with your child how to behave on a play date before the guest arrives.

Respond when others are friendly

Help your child to be on a lookout for kind behavior from other kids, this will be the beginning of initiating friendship on their own.

Teach your kid to practice responding warmly. For e.g., if somebody gives a compliment, responding it with "thank you" can be a great way to overcome shyness.

Imagine others perspectives

It takes kids many years to learn to imagine how someone else might feel in a particular situation. To support your child's perspective-taking skills, talk with your child about thoughts and feelings as they come up—either in daily life or in books, TV shows, or movies.

Talking ab­out feelings helps kids label and understand inner experiences. Mentally putting themselves in other people's shoes can guide kids in how to get al­o­ng.

Looking outward and focusing on helping others feel comfortable can also help shy ki­ds break free of paralyzing self-focus.

Be patient

It can take time for reputations to change. Peers may not notice immediately when your child has turned over a new leaf. Express your faith in your child's ability to grow and learn.

With guidance and persistent effort, your child can begin to build connections with other kids.

Model outgoing behavior

When you show your child how to socialize, like greeting people, making conversation, and being friendly, your kid gets more comfortable doing the same.

Hence, this will encourage your child to open up from his shyness mode.

(The writer is a Vijayawada based Psychiatrist)