What our children want?

We have very ancient views of raising children which are primarily focused on molding and shaping children to meet their parents expectations. But sometimes it leads to over-parenting. Most of the research on over-parenting has focused on how it has affected children.

But the link between over-involved parents and negative consequences is found when examining children of all ages. Indeed, pre-school and primary school children of over-involved parents tend to experience high levels of shyness, anxiety and poor peer relations.

Experts says here are some things that all children need and want from the adults in their lives.

Discipline

This seems to be one thing that many adults today seem to forego, out of fear that the kids will not like them, but it is very important that all children (regardless of whether or not they have any added difficulties or underlying conditions) receive some form of discipline, so that they can be put on a good path. There is a fine line between laying down firm rules and boundaries and being overly strict.

Nurturing

All children (but especially children with added difficulties or certain conditions) need to feel nurtured, so that they can feel safe and secure, and so that they can grow up to be the best people they can be.

Patience

Even adults are learning new things all the time, and children are often far less experienced with life than adults. Besides, if children are not shown patience, how are they going to learn how to be patient with others? Imagine if your boss got upset every time you did not perform a task the way it was supposed to be done.

Acceptance

It is important that ALL children are shown acceptance, but this is especially important in the case of children with added difficulties or certain conditions.

Children need to be shown acceptance from the adults in their lives, so that they can know that they are ok, and so that they can learn to be accepting of others.

If a child does not feel accepted, how is this child going to learn to be accepting of others? Maybe see if there are special groups in this child's school or in your area, that are for children who have needs that are similar to this particular child's needs.

Or even see about all inclusive groups, so the child can meet children who have all kinds of needs, to varying degrees. If there are not groups like this available, that you feel are right for this particular child (and older children will also want to have their input), then see if there is a way you can organize one.

A good, close relationship with the adults in their lives

This should speak for itself. All children need and want to feel close to the adults in their lives, and have a good relationship with them. Even children with special needs or certain conditions need and want this.

Guidance

All children need this, regardless of their situation, so that they can grow up to be good citizens, and so that they can feel safe and secure. Express love also with verbal affirmations.

Notice when they are doing the right thing and tell them how proud you are. When you must reprimand them, say it in a way that isn't too harsh and doesn't humiliate them.