It is not what we say; it is how we say that matters

Business manners are the building blocks that decide where we end up in an organisation. “A man is known by his dress and address”. The emphasis is not on the acquired knowledge but on the social etiquette.

IT in USA stands for Indians and Taiwanese. Indians make the best software, Taiwanese make the best hardware and the Americans make all the money. The rules of the game are very clear. Be fine-tuned to the concept of soft skills. Soft skills are man management skills that are not taught in any business school or university. Discussed below are focus areas for improving business manners.

Telephone manners

Telephonic manners need to be impeccable. The other person judges us by our voice. One needs to talk clearly and precisely. The correct way is to identify oneself first and later ask permission to speak with the person. When queried, “Can I speak with so and so” the usual response is to say, “You are”. Can is the physical process of speaking like I can eat, I can walk etc. The correct way is: “May I speak?” which is requesting permission to speak.

Workplace manners

One can judge people by what they say. When asked for volunteers for a task one worker would say, “Yes! I volunteer, what is the work?” and the second worker says “What is the work?” when told about the type of work, he would volunteer. No prizes for guessing who would be given the work and the recognition.

Scold in private and praise in public

Always praise in public as it acts like a tonic to the others and scold in private as the person reprimanded can always come out with his personal pride intact. However, shouting at an individual in public, you would scar that person for life.

Smile

As a quip put it, nothing in the world looks bad, if you put on a smile. We need 72 muscles to frown and only 21 to smile. So, lets us all face the world with a smile. +

Standing up” for a lady

Men callously sitting in the car while the lady struggles to get in is considered rude. Don’t sit like lords when the lady of the house serves refreshments. Get up and warmly greet the lady. A friend in confectionery business had remarked, “One of the prerequisite in our business is the ability to stand for many hours without sitting.”

Handshake

A handshake is the first impression that lasts for a life time. Take the offered hand firmly into your own hand, grip it and slightly press for a second and release. Be cautious with Indian women. Let the lady take the lead. If she wants to shake hands then go for it. Otherwise the Indian way of greeting is appropriate. Take care that your hands are not wet and clammy. There is nothing more repulsive than a ‘cold fish handshake”. If you have sweaty palms, keep wiping them and ensure that they are dry when you attempt a handshake.

Given below are some golden words that have to be used very judiciously.

I: The one word that you should use as less as possible. The usage of “I” word bores people.

You: The one word that you should use as frequently as possible. The usage makes people happy and makes you the most popular conversationalist.

We: The word for teamwork. This denotes that you are a part of the group and not above it.

Thank you: Two words that open the doors of the world. Try it in all the available occasions and see the difference in treatment from the entire sundry including the auto driver and the liftman. “Kindness begets kindness”.

I am sorry: Three words that turn foes into friends. While it is difficult to accept that you were at fault, once you say sorry you would be amazed at the easiness with which your apology is accepted. However, one needs to say it with the heart.

You’re most welcome: These words will make you very popular, will show your ability to help a person in need.

I am proud of you: Five words that will make your team members root for you as the best leader. All of us get work done but how many of us acknowledge the fact and praise the person for his/her work? Praise can move mountains. An apt compliment at the right time is a very good motivator. Try it out and see the difference.

Many of us have lost the art of writing letters. The addressing of Mrs. and Miss is out and Ms. is in, which is definitely less confusing. The latest is to just say “Dear business associate” or “Dear student”. No gender specific addressing that would confuse many foreigners. At the end of the letter the sign off was - yours truly, yours faithfully or yours sincerely. The latest signoff is “with regards”. Internet has its own protocol. For e.g.: Typing in capital letters on the Internet means ‘BEING RUDE’ to the other person.

Correct business language: We need to watch what we say and how we say it. “It is not what we say; it is how we say that matters”. Words are like bullets, once fired they can’t be retrieved.

Burn: This is the US terminology. Burn is to copy. When your boss says burn the document, he means take a photocopy of the document.

Let’s get the ball rolling: “Let’s get the ball rolling” in a class room in Bahirdar in Ethiopia made the students look for a football in the classroom! It is better to say “shall we start the class?”

Steps to be taken: Steps to be taken will be taken literally as steps as in a staircase. It is better to say measures or actions to be taken.

Housewife: Very sexist and gender specific. If a lady who stays and manages a house is called a housewife, what should we call a man who does a similar job, a house husband? It is better to call man/woman who stays at home a home maker.

Chairman: Now- a-days this is being taken care of. It is very common to say Chairperson.

Afro-Americans: Calling a coloured person Negro, Nigger or black can lead to bad blood and fisticuffs in the western world.

The correct name would be Afro Americans - Americans of African origin.

Fat: Being fat is a serious health condition. Calling them big, large, obese, fatso, double bread and similar names can lead to lots of complications including loss of self-esteem and self-confidence.

Short: Similarly no one wants to be short. Every one of us wants to be tall, dark and handsome. But some of us are born short.

Instead of ridiculing them by calling them short, learn to respect one another.

Blind: Similarly only the blind know the travails of a person who can’t see. Instead of sympathising with them we call them blind, sightless, etc. It is better to address them as visually challenged.

Physically handicapped: They are usually made fun of or simply ignored. Instead why don’t we see them as normal people? They are differently abled, very much normal but live a challenging life.

Mentally handicapped: We can refer to them as mentally challenged or differently abled. It is even better to call them special people.

Let us know the art of polite conversation and become the statesmen of language and words. Let us be known for the crispness and preciseness of our speech.

By:Dr M Anil Ramesh