Social media in, social grace out

The music was straight out of a famous Bollywood (hate the name but it has stuck) dance number, sans the lyrics and the montage had visuals of a young couple in different frames and poses that would put artistes in celebrated “item numbers” to shame.

The attire, body language, locales and colour schemes were all set to remind you of star couples, who danced all the way to big bucks and fame. At the end of the audio-visual extravaganza was the text with venue, date and time of engagement.

The grand finale came in the form of a message from the parents holding hands (to remind us that they had a strong marriage going) telling us in an overly exaggerated accent how happy “our presence” would make them feel. To say that this invite from a low-key, reticent couple was a shock would be an understatement.

“E-invites” are the new trend with social media platforms giving wings to hidden desires and converting even shy and withdrawn people into “bold and beautiful” characters hitherto viewed only on the big screen and on television.

Social media platforms have become so entertaining that everybody from little kids, the youth brigade, the middle-aged and the old have learnt to lose themselves in their mobiles unconcerned about what happens in the real world.

People who are quiet in person have become bold and brazen, sending pictures and videos that one would never think of even in one’s wildest imagination. Becoming heroes of their own stories and living in the glow of false “likes” are a new lot of social media addicts who have an online persona that is absolutely different from heir offline one.

Many prolific “texters” are tongue-tied when it comes to having real conversations reminding me of an old friend from the “age of letters”. This friend’s letters were extremely interesting with fine descriptions of everyday events of her life that she wrote from different parts of the country where she had lived. In person, she was extremely dull and uninteresting, making one wonder if she was the same person who wrote such interesting stuff.

There is no objection to people craving for an “identity’ through newly available platforms but what is really worrying is the decrease in social graces and etiquette. The anxiety to tell the world everything has robbed the charm of discovery, of discreetness, of surprise and the eagerness to know.

The words, subtle, understated, simple and graceful have become meaningless and extinct in a society that wants to celebrate the gross and the overstated. Every celebration, get together or event is seen as a “photo op”. So obsessed are people with “selfies” “groupies” and other pictures that they do not enjoy the moment. Their mind is on the groups that the pictures should be circulated to and the response that feeds their egos.

People have ceased to enjoy simple pleasures like enduring conversations, warm greetings and personal enquiries. We have women and men in uniform asking us to have meals and snacks, master of ceremonies thanking guests for attending and attendants giving out mechanical greetings at functions. The Mechanical has won over emotion, Gadgets and gizmos command more respect and attention than human beings. In this brave new world “likes’ determine your worth and power.

One can stay online and connected at the physical level but absolutely disconnected at the emotional level. It is welcome social media and goodbye social graces even as the real follows the reel. There is no disputing the fact that technology has made life simpler and shrunk borders. But let it not cloud our ability to judge, respond and be humane. Stay connected but more importantly remain rooted!