A tribute to unconditional love

“But there’s a story behind everything. How a picture got on a wall. How a scar got on your face. Sometimes the stories are simple, and sometimes they are hard and heartbreaking. But behind all your stories is always your mother’s story, because hers is where yours begin”— the quote from journalist and author Mitch Albom’s, book ‘For Another Day’ reflects the inseparable bond that exists between mother and child through the twists and turns that define life.

Apart from the process of procreation sustaining all species, the most striking quality of motherhood is the tendency to nurture leading to statements like “motherhood is an attitude and not just a biological relation”.

There may be exceptions but the unconditional love associated with motherhood has been toasted in folklore, legends, print and celluloid. The great epics – the Ramayana and Mahabharata are full of stories of mothers whose love for their children formed the basis of love, intrigue, jealousy, war and raw human emotions behind every dramatic event.

Although different aspects of motherhood are portrayed in these epic characters, tales of the unsurpassed love of Yashoda for her prankster son Krishna are the most enduring. The ‘Bhagavata’ abounds in beautiful descriptions of childhood episodes of Krishna known as “Krishna Leelas” filled with exasperated pleas of the Gopikas to Yashoda, her strong belief that her “little innocent” can do no wrong and ultimately the punishment that she metes out after discovering the truth.

A scene, where an annoyed Yashoda punishes her son by tying him to a grinding stone forms the basis of the famous Tamil song “Enna Thavam Saidhanai Yashoda”, which translates as “What penance have you (Yashoda) undertaken to be bestowed with the power to punish, love and care for the Supreme Lord Vishnu.”

It was not the biological mother Devaki but Yashoda who brought him up with selfless devotion who was eulogised in different lyrics by poet- saint Surdas who was captivated by this ‘Vatsalya ‘ or Mother’s love .

The saint poet Annamayya too acknowledges this motherly affection in his beautiful Keertana “Muddu gaare Yashoda Mungita Muthyamu Veedu” referring to Krishna as the pearl in the courtyard of his doting mother Yashoda.

There are songs appealing to the compassionate nature that a mother has for her child as in the case of saint composer Tyagaraja who sings “Nanu brovamani cheppave Sitamma thalli (O Mother Sita, ask Lord Rama to protect me). This song shows how compassion is intrinsic to motherhood with the devotee addressing “Sita” as his mother (Thalli).

Worshipping mother goddess in his “Aparadhasahasraani Stotram” the philosopher theologian Adi Shankaracharya says, “Kuputro Jayate Kwichadapi, Kumata Na Bhavati” (meaning there can be bad children but never a bad mother).

Pictures of Mother Mary and infant Jesus and teachings of Prophet Muhammed (PBUH), who stated that “Paradise can be found at the mother’s feet”, clearly show the importance accorded to mothers in all religions of the world.

Secular literature, song and drama and films in India abound with strong mother characters. The role of Jijabhai and Putlibai in shaping the thoughts of a mighty Maratha warrior king Shivaji, and an apostle of peace and non-violence Mahatma Gandhi have been subjects of learning in schools over decades.

From the “Mere pass Maa hai” (I have mother with me) the unforgettable dialogue from the Amitabh Bachchan - starrer ‘Deewaar’ in the 70’s, filmmakers have come up with several innovations in mother characters in accordance with the changes in society.

The strong mother character ‘Sivagami’ has a character that is equal if not stronger than the hero in the blockbuster film ‘Baahubali’ prompting the makers of the film to call the book based on the film ‘The Rise of Sivagami: Book 1 of Baahubali- Before the Beginning’.

The chronicling of the various aspects of motherhood and strong family bonds in India is only to reiterate the fact that every day has been designated as ‘Mother’s Day’ here. So deep has been our reverence that we refer to everything loving, compassionate, forgiving and enduring as “Mata” (mother).

Bharatmata, Bhumata, Gomata, are all references to these qualities and gain reverence from the way they are addressed. Having mentioned the positives and ideal teachings that celebrate motherhood it would be a travesty to ignore how far we have come from our avowed ideals and how even our scriptures are interpreted to suppress, subjugate and harass women across different strata of society.

Bias regarding the girl child, female infanticide and increasing atrocities on women make a mockery of equality and expose the hollowness of ‘reverence’ and utopian ideals that are confined to rhetoric. A country that does not recognise the rights of women to equal pay, opportunities and positions in spirit, surely does not respect motherhood or values that are supposedly inculcated by our mothers.

Unless there is a change in mindset our hoary past will have no relevance and we cannot stake claim to be inheritors of a legacy that celebrates motherhood. The increasing number of old age homes and parents who no longer enjoy family support point to the changes that have crept in.

It is interesting to look at how Mother’s Day celebrations began in the early 20th century. A personal tribute by a daughter honouring her mother’s services soon spread to become a movement finding resonance in different parts of the world.

A young woman Anna Jarvis held a memorial service for her mother Ann Reeves, a peace activist who had cared for wounded soldiers on both sides of the American Civil War in 1908. This was held at the Andrew’s Methodist church in Grafton, West Virginia, which now holds the International Mother’s Day shrine.

Anna Jarvis wanted to set aside a day to commemorate the good work done by her mother and honour all mothers as she believed they were the people, who did more for you than anyone else in the world. Celebrations began first in West Virginia her hometown but spread to other places where awareness about its significance began to grow.

In 1914, President Woodrow Wilson finally signed a proclamation designating ‘Mother’s Day’ held on the second Sunday in May, as a national holiday to honour mothers.

Although Anna Jarvis was successful in getting recognition for Mother’s Day, she soon became resentful of the commercialisation that had set in. She felt that several companies like Hallmark had misinterpreted and exploited the idea, which was based on sentiment and not on profit.

She felt handwritten notes and letters were more valuable than cards sold en masse. Gifting ideas, holiday packages, sending carnations to mothers and other commercial elements came into play. With more than 40 countries celebrating Mother’s Day, grand events, special television programmes and sponsored features took centre stage.

The one who initiated the celebrations protested in vain to stop trading sentiment at the market place but her pleas went unheard. India too joined the bandwagon.

Why are so many Indians celebrating ‘Mother’s Day’? The answer is simple. We Indians love to celebrate and any number of events added to our list of festive days are welcome. As ‘Mother’s Day gifts, greeting cards, travel plans, and events get bigger, there are more products that get sold and money flooding the markets.

In this new consumer driven culture ‘special days’ are akin to an oasis in a desert -- they quench our thirst for splurging like no other. Single mother’s struggles, celebrity mothers and children, films revolving around mothers and discounts on gifts mark the second Sunday of May as a great ‘market day’.

Emotions, gifts, stories and events are all marketed with great competence. True caring is however beyond symbolic celebrations and costly gifts. It requires reciprocation of love and adherence to values. Both are priceless gifts as far as mothers are concerned.