Marriage is a Choice, not a Mandate

“You are 24 years of age already! What next?”
“Is marriage on the cards?”
“You’ve come of age for marriage,”
“The society is watching”

All of these statements sound familiar, don’t they? After a woman has reached a particular age, these statements start echoing in her ear until the moment she decides to tie the knot. We live in a society largely influenced by ‘culture’.

While the whole world is going gaga over the marriage season, trends, shopping; there are many girls out there, who are singing a different tune!

However, women have had very different cultural implications over the time and one such factor which still binds itself onto every woman is ‘Marriage’. The society has imposed it upon as a fact of life.

Even in this modern era marked by ‘autonomy’ and ‘individuality’, we still find a huge number of women who struggle to make independent choices with regards to marriage. It all comes down to family and parental pressure. It has become a vague belief and a norm that, the act of ‘marriage’ is a sign of maturity.

In the world today, we come across women who have succumbed to this belief and also women who have withstood such circumstances.Yet, despite the centrality of marriage to our lives, 74.1 million single women in India—never married, divorced, separated, widowed—comprises nearly 12% of the female population (LiveMint).

“Deciding and communicating my thoughts on marriage to my family was one of the most difficult tasks for me. My parents are very spiritual people and the society has always had a persistent influence on them. As a child I always yearned for freedom of choice in matters relating to nearly everything.

At one stage of my life, I had come to realize that marriage was not my cup of tea. I worshipped my dreams and focused on my career. I knew about myself that marriage was not an integral part of the journey that I have always wished to embark upon.

It took me 5 long years to convince my parents and bring them in-line with my idea of ‘marriage’. Today, what comforts me the most is the fact that I have given power to myself over the society” says Sarah Abraham, an entrepreneur.

Another such woman sharing a similar perspective, Sirisha says, “I respect the tradition of marriage but I’ve never felt a personal need for it. It is only a need of the society that has been charged upon us. I have always believed in the concept of ‘prioritizing’ and I can, without any hesitation, say that ‘marriage’ isnever really a priority in my life”.

“According to me the concept of marriage has always been misinterpreted. I believe that women deserve the freedom and the privilege to decide when and whom to marry. And in addition, their choices should be respected. I have personally seen people who have put a halt to their careers for the sake of marriage.

This has to change. Giving power to self is most important” says K. Sai Madhuri, a student of St. Francis College.

The modern ideology of womenon the concept of marriage and on singlehood is being propagated and accepted widely. Women are making commendable efforts in bringing about a change in not only themselves but also others. Kudos to all the women out there who are living lives on their own terms!

By Trisha Reddy