Wedding is all about love not who wins over whom

FIGHT TO LOVE NOT TO WIN

The feeling of begin in love lingers on like the heady fragrance of your favourite cologne. It takes you to cloud nine. Love is an experience which evolves as it enriches the couples who get it right. Love would be so much easier, if it weren’t for the arguments and quarrels that happen. After all love and fight go hand in hand, that’s how love grows from strength to strength.

YOU MUST FIGHT TO LOVE, NOT TO WIN

The difference is, when you fight to win, you get all absorbed in who’s in the right and who’s in the wrong. You keep tally of past wrongs, missteps and hurts. You go for the jugular with unkind words and mean actions. You start to care more about your pride or your power, instead of your relationship. Fighting to win, rather than making an attempt at calling a truce, is the biggest couples can make. Likewise, if you do decide to keep quiet and forgo and confrontation, just make sure that you do not hold a grudge.

When you do decide to make your complaints known, start your statements with I feel instead of any sentence beginning with ‘ you’. Take responsibility for your feelings asking clearly for what you need from your partner and responding to his cues. Fighting should always be about what’s best for your relationship, instead of what’s best for you as an individual. Your relationship should always be your age heaven. A fight should never be recounted once it has been resolved. Emotional baggage can be kept light this way.

MAKE YOUR FIGHT CONSTRUCTIVE
Conflict doesn’t have to be destructive arguments can clear the air and lead to better understanding. Peace at any price, does not build any a strong open relationship in the end. Have you learnt to make a fight serve your relationship? Here are some ideas that may help you

STICK TO THE SUBJECT

It doesn’t help to bring out all the simmering resentment and unforgiven wrongs that you have been storing up. It is wise to deal with each of these on a daily basis. This ensures that you do not become a walking pressure cooker. Work very consciously at not becoming a live volcano. Sort out small differences on a regular basis. Then you’ll never have anything more than a day old to drag into any conflicts.

FOLLOW SOME FIGHT - IQUETTE

Sometimes we let issues fester until our feelings get so strong that one more thing easily goes on to become the last straw. Suddenly we are exchanging criticism and insult with little thought about the consequences.

It’s far better to recognise a matter when it is becoming an issue. Never try putting things aside as an excuse to put the subject off. It is important to be clear about the things that you are disagreeing over. Remember that the things that started the fight may not be the one thing that triggered the fight. There may well be a number of underlying, unspoken and piled up issues that have led to the fight at hand.

NEVER CALL EACH OTHER NAMES

There’s little more likely to escalate a row than insulting each other. It doesn’t actually solve any problems and usually makes your partner defensive and unwilling to listen. Drawing attention to your partners weakness is an under the belt tactic that you should steer clear of, as it is a sure shot recipe to push your partner away. The purpose of an argument should be to arrive at a mutual agreement.

TRY TO STAY CLOSE TO EACH OTHER

Look at each other. This helps you to remember your relationship and how special you are to each other.It also helps to remind you that the purpose of the fight is not for one of you to win, but for you to find a way forward together.

COMMUNICATION IS ALWAYS THE KEY NEVER SAY TOO MUCH