What’s Up!

If apps have to be rated for sensitivity, my vote for least sensitive is WhatsApp. There is sufficient case to warrant an urgent study on changes in social behaviour among WhatsApp users. For starters, behaviour in groups. Anyone can simply drag and force you into a group without your permission.

Today I am silently part of many groups – school, college, last bench, runners, walkers, canteen, post-graduate, writers, meditation and so on. I cannot exit these groups because it hurts sensitive people who dragged you forcibly into the group. And when you do escape by some freaky technological goof up, some idiot notices it and adds you back. It’s like a high security jail.

One may ask what is so difficult about being part of groups. Nothing, except that these groups are not normal. WhatsApp groups are like concentration camps – you have no control over anything. In real jails you can choose who you want to hang out with. On WhatsApp you have no choice – every comment, share is passed by you whether you like it or not.

Around 20 per cent of the group contributes 80 per cent of the content - and the other 80 per cent suffers. And no one is listening to the silent cries of these victims who are assaulted day and night. I feel it’s high time the perpetrators are caught and properly dealt with.

Since it may take a while for the authorities concerned to analyse these behaviours I will share my findings having carefully observed some of the perpetrators. Therapists or the police could use it. Let’s start with the early risers in groups. They need serious help. Their day starts at 3.30 am and they suffer from the pathological need to wish the group.

It’s like they cannot wait to wake up and wish the group - a clear indicator of their anti-social life situation. Or take the religious guys who share high sounding philosophies at odd hours. You know for sure these losers have some serious issues with their lives but are trying to act serene. They are on the edge and could explode any moment. And for the Need for Approval guys – go no further than the Good Samaritans who remember everybody else’s birthdays and anniversaries.

Now these birthday wishes spark interesting reactions on groups. While the group is trying to figure who the guy with the birthday is, everyone goes Happy Birthday or HBD and sends virtual flowers and cakes until someone figures that it’s not his birthday or that this person does not exist on the group anymore. In all likelihood he is dead. When some kind soul points this out, the group changes track from HBD to RIP without missing a beat and goes RIP, RIP, RIP. Is that normal I ask you?

Another disturbing psychological aberration among WhatsApp groups is that In the middle of the heartfelt RIPs they think nothing of posting a bawdy joke about the priest and the prostitute. No embarrassment. And then the conversation goes either way. RIP or Prostitute – take your pick. Bizarre or what?

Now let’s get back to psychological issues and WhatsApp behaviours. To identify hypochondriacs look for guys who post health bulletins. For people with trust issues – check out guys who post relationship advise. The attention deficit gang is the one sharing accidents, murders and disasters.

The guys who need most help are posting self-help stuff and offering to help. And low self-esteem chaps get off the page when someone comes online. You see, the perpetrators are giving themselves away through their WhatsApp behaviours. If there is any doubt left about their psychological state, check out their Display Pictures. It fills out all the gaps in information. Then, you can nab them with full evidence and lock them up.

By: Harimohan Paruvu