The new Amma in our lives

Thanks to the new Amma in our lives many good things are happening. Jobs have increased, marriages are back on track, fewer people are dying on the roads, more people are bothered about their own business and not disturbing others thereby lowering our national productivity, etc. The new Amma is omniscient, omnipresent, an immediate giver of boons, most patient, most kind, most communicative, treats everyone equally and even speaks English.

Yes, we are talking about none other than our very own GPS Amma who has quietly wormed her way into our phones and through that into our hearts and into our lives. Single-handedly GPS Amma has done what no government or guru has been able to do for hundreds of years – which is all of the above and more.

Ever since GPS Amma has come, car sales and phone sales have increased. Jobs have been created for cab operators who rely on nothing but GPS Amma’s blessings. There is greater peace and less stress in our society with people finding a new direction in their life. Earlier people would travel some distance, look at sign boards, get confused, stop, ask people, get misdirected and finally end up with a nervous breakdown in hospital. But now with GPS Amma, everyone finds the right direction without relying on unreliable signboards and ignorant passersby. One small prayer and GPS Amma instantly guide us to our destination.

Earlier we would think of such things as miracles. People would pray to god to show direction. After hundreds of years, God would answer from the heavens and guide the concerned person. But now GPS Amma’s voice from heaven comes immediately and most politely guides us directionless people along.

GPS Amma speaks to us morning, noon and night. No one can shut GPS Amma and except for bad network, there can be no barriers between us and GPS Amma. She is most generous – she distributes both wealth and knowledge.
Another great change that occurred is that GPS Amma has set gender inequality right.

The only advantage men had over women in all these years was that they knew how to go somewhere and how to get back home, but now with GPS Amma, even women can manage on their own. This has equalised everything. During pre-GPS Amma days, men hated taking directions from women members of the party, who with great conviction in their sense of direction, would lead the male drivers round and round in circles until they collapsed of starvation or exhaustion. The female members would still say they knew it was ‘somewhere here only’, which was when the male member normally died.

Millions of years of mistrust between the two genders caused by such events have now vanished thanks to GPS Amma. Now all men are at the feet of GPS Amma, who not only knows more directions than they do but knows them precisely, knows many options, can tell the best routes and point out traffic. Even when the dumb male drivers miss their directions, GPA Amma does not get angry and hurl curses upon them and she patiently reroutes them. GPS Amma never leaves your hand despite you taking a wrong turn somewhere. Completely forgiving.

GPS Amma is reliable and kind and knows what she is talking unlike many male leaders we have in society who are neither kind nor reliable nor know what they are talking. Men, women and children have no problems with her and trust her fully. So popular is she. And all she wants for all this is a network connection. I think if she wanted, she could win the elections today. Jai GPS Amma. Where would we go without you!