Do Women Really Support Women?

Most of the women don’t feel me as a threat to their relationships because I am a woman with disability and I am on wheelchair. After many experiences I learnt that primarily women think about themselves as caregiver and a sexual partner with a reproductive ability. Most of the women are extra nice to me as they feel happy and secureth at their husband /men in their life are safe interacting with me.

It clearly depicts how vulnerable they feel about their looks, abilities, talents etc. Though it sounds strange, the women who are closest to us judge us immediately with biased lenses. Women per se came a long way threading through challenges like economic, sexual and existential freedom. And it’s sad to see how much mental freedom women must achieve from the chains of being perfect wife, mother, care giver etc.

The effect of “karyeshudaasi, Karaneshumantri” is quite deep rooted on every woman from different strata of society. Along with rural woman, wemust also talkabout highly educated resourceful professional women who are still juggling to have a work life balance with an impossible task of pleasing everyone, including their peer women which is quite a tall order.

The historical classic example of women not backing women’s causes can be seen in not passing of The Hindu Code Bill, till date. As an advocate and social activist,I have seen smart and intelligent women being punished ruthlessly by other women for their virtues. Before blaming patriarchy and other gender inequalities, let us examine women supporting other women with respect and rationality.

When questioned many women from different walks of life,I have received almost nil to a negative answer that women really support other women.It’s strange to see women abusing, judging, harassing, punishing women in homes, corporate, workplaces with no apparent reason or logic whatsoever. Sadly, this is proving the behavioral physiology fact that – abused becomes abuser over a period.

I am sure many feminists who are ready with pointing their guns on men and patriarchy may not like my words, but one should not forget that the real women empowerment is interwind with human rights. Human rights is an inclusive framework with equal rights to men, women, lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender. How can there be an equality when a woman dominates another woman?

Peer support plays a vital role in everyone’s life. Like no two clocks show the same time similarly no two women agree or disagree to the same point. According to a French writer Simone De Beauvoir “one is not born, but rather becomes, a woman.” Becoming a woman is a highly political and cultural process and a multi-layered one.

On this women’s day I urge every woman to be less judgmental, more transparent, be compassionate and be assertive for their own good. It’s a proven fact that a woman can make or break another woman. Let’s use our exceptional skills to elevate us to prove the quote “I think women are foolish to pretend they are equal to men, they are far superior and always have been.”

Friends our challenge is not with the rest of the world as Mary Wollstonecraft says, “I do not wish women to have power over men: but over themselves.” Let us work towards a community disproving the old Sanskrit adage “Nari, NarithahShatru.”I wish you a Compassionate and Lively Women’s day having Women as our best Allies..!!