Urbanisation and Relationships

With more than 10 million people migrating to cities and towns every year, the total urban population is expected to reach about 600 million by 2031. Given this scenario, what’s to become of traditional relationships wherein roles were clearly demarcated for men and women?

In modern relationships, infidelity and insecurity are among the major concerns especially with women becoming increasingly financially independent. It has been observed especially in the television and film industry that there are plenty of freeloaders around a female professional doing well for herself. There has been a tendency to manipulate these women who are economically independent yet vulnerable. Of late, cases of suicide by actresses from these industries has been on the rise.

As in the case of Jiah Khan, Nafisa Joseph, model Viveka Babajee, the more recent Pratyusha Bannerjee – it seemed that the men in their lives made themselves seemingly indispensable and gradually took control of their emotions, bank accounts, apartment and their social life by alienating them from their parents and friends. It was sad that in their eagerness to achieve wealth and fame these women failed to see through these men. Some liked to flaunt their boyfriends, some genuinely craved for their attention while some like the Ballikavadu actress, (as was published in news reports) wished to prove that they were not unlucky in love after having had a previous bad relationship.

However, there are plenty of happy stories to draw inspiration from. Priety Zinta, Sushmita Sen, Urmila Matondkar, Kangana Ranaut are some women whose economic independence has enabled them to live life on their own terms. It is not just being able to earn their own livelihood but a sense of being capable of achieving something that makes these women feel liberated in its true sense. These actresses are known to have turned traditional relationships on the head – adopting children as a single woman, marrying a man 10 years younger, taking onpowerful ex-boyfriends, they have done it all.

Urbanisation is a significant factor that has led to the Indian woman’s ongoing evolution. As more and more women join the workforce the meaning of their relationships and marriages is also changing. For some women, curious questions about their age, weight, marriage and ability to have children by their nosy neighbours are not bothersome. Being financially independent, they feel more confident and mature enough to take on life’s challenges. They are willing to embrace their sexuality and seek compatibility in all aspects – emotional as well as sexual. Pre-marital sex is now more common than ever before among youth and they do not always demand that it should lead to a marriage.

Another impact of growing urbanization is an increasingly high number of extra marital affairs. Long hours of work and travel throw men and women together for longer durations and boredom from one’s married life gets an outlet. There are other reasons as well like feeling wanted, desired and nurtured by someone. There are cases of open marriages too where both parties enter into an agreement to cross the traditional lines that wedding vows normally set.

Urbanisation is here to stay and ensure that traditional roles of men and women get blurred. A new recipe for relationships is in the making.

By Manoj Jain

The author recently launched a book The BNO (Boys Night Out). The book focuses on relationships, sex and people